I have a week and a half more school, and I think I can do it. There was a low point a week or two ago, where I had lost pretty much all hope of getting decent grades* and was about ready to give up and lock myself in the closet until I graduated. Then, I started to study. To actually study, not just put my book in front of me and go check twitter. I did a little each night, I made sure I understood the practice questions, and what happened?

I got the highest score on the Chemistry test, raised my Calculus grade four percent, and relieved far more stress than I thought possible. Studying really isn't hard, if you just do it. And it's really gratifying. Who knew?

I've also started to get up unreasonably early, because I focus better at four o'clock in the morning. I really like getting up before anyone else, when it's still dark, and dressing in front of the heater so my toes don't turn into an icicles. Mornings have such potential. One has the whole day ahead of them, full of endless possibilities and time. So much time.

It's quiet, too. Sometimes, a train sounds in the distance, I don't know from where, but you can hear it, and the sky is blacker than when you went to bed (granted, it never gets very dark thanks to lovely Los Angeles light pollution), and the house is cold and still and every sound is all-encompassing and wholesome. And it isn't that I don't like sleeping, it's just that I like waking up more. Early to bed, early to rise, you know?

I guess I'm just learning discipline. Growing up. All that jazz.
Ohgawd. I don't want to grow up, what am I saying?


*decent=A. A is for Average. B is for Below Average.